do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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