Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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