Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
