Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it was like eating out sand paper
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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