Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
