take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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