Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
