Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Success! We fucked roommates!
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