i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
