I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
it's great music for shaving your balls
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
