Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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