bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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