and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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