He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
MIDGETS
????
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
