You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Randomize
