I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
