is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
