Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
