why didn't you poke me back
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
