The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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