Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
