she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
