$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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