Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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