Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
