Whod you bang
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
