i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
