so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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