You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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