Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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