Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
