He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
