tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
