We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
