So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
