How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
