Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
