just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
