I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You need Xanax blowdarts
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
