walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
