oh god the rape fog is back!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
