he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
