And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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