I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
