So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
