Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
