He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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