Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
