I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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