I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
