he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
