Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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