I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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